Essay handed in and considering buying a new car

I recently blogged about how I cheated by ordering a reflective research paper I have to write soon. I’m glad I did do it and I’m glad that this blog is anonymous because the shame is quite bad.

But I would never have got the reflective essay written to the standard I need is to write without the help I’ve had. I ordered it from a professional writing help service, where they have high quality writers you write essays and papers to the standard you want. I was a bit shocked when I got it back but it’s giving me great ideas on how I can improve it and structure things were different. So it really helped me to open my mind up to what I need to do and how I need to think.

That’s really good and I would not have been able to hand in a reflective essay anywhere near what I’m going to have had it not been for that writing help. I hope I can use it as a learning curve now and in a few essays time I will need any writing help at all.

I’ve also decided I’m going to buy new car. My wife has a new car, well a two-year-old car, and mine is 10 years old and it’s just cost a bit of money. I think it’s time to bite the bullet and just upgrade to a new one. We have plenty of money so it’s not a problem and I’m not really confident that it’s reliable any more, so I need something more reliable even though I will not use it much because I’m working from home so often.

But I think it’s the shiny new thing syndrome which is creeping in. I never really care about cars, but suddenly I’m looking at cars everywhere, looking at prices and starting to realise I’m getting a bit obsessed with buying one. That’s not a bad thing and I’m hoping that I can get it resolved soon, I’m going to look at some tomorrow and I’ll probably end up buying one.

Right, that’s enough blogging from me I do have to get on with this reflective essay I really have two make sure that what I handing is excellent, so it’s time for me to stop blogging and get back to work.

A very lonely walk in the park with a missing dog

Well tonight was a funny old evening. Everyone was occupied so I thought I would take the dog for a walk in the park before getting back to say good night to the kids and put them to bed.

I took her to the local park and as usual I let her off the lead and she ran off. This time she didn’t come back as she usually does, she ran right across the park and into the woods on the far side. She then didn’t come out. I wandered over and realised that she was not anywhere to be seen.

It was really concerning and in the end I had to stand in the middle of the park calling her for half an hour. She came towards me from a different direction, I think she had gone straight through the woods that circled the park. I think she might have chased something into the woods and got lost.

Anyway, by the time I got home the kids were already in bed and a 10 minute walk turned into an hour-long walk to the park, stand around and then walked home.

I’m surprised but my reflective essay has already arrived, I only ordered it three days ago. It’s a reflective research paper that I have to hand in in two weeks time and I have to say that I’m glad I got that help.

I think I said already I needed some writing help, and that I was going to cheat to get it. Well I am glad I did because it has showed me the standards which I need to write and I am quite shocked because I was nowhere near that.

So I’m now going to spend the next few days making my own version of it, by editing it and adding in my own thoughts and feelings to make it more of a reflective essay that I would construct, but using the structure and depth that has been highlighted to me. So I have to say that I’m glad I did it and I will do again because it opened my eyes to what I need to achieve.

I’ve decided to get my reflective essay written for me and I feel terrible

I came to a decision today and I decided I couldn’t put it off any longer. I have been considering getting my first reflective essay written for me. The reason for this has been outlined earlier in my blog, but basically I’m just not confident I can write and construct a reflective research paper to the standard I need to.

Rather than submitting something rubbish, I decided to get some proper writing help by ordering one online. I did it today and it took 10 minutes and turnaround time should be less than a week.

I’ve decided I’m not going to just hand in this reflective essay as it is, I’m not going to cheat that much. Rather, I’m going to use it as a platform to build my own version from.

I know it’s still cheating and I now am doing the wrong thing, but what I am going to do is use it to get some help with my writing style, so that I can develop things myself. I feel I need to see how things should be structure, or maybe how things should be structured so that I can then build on that and for my own opinions and style.

I think it is going to take some time and I’m thinking I am going to order a few essays online before I get to the stage of just being able to do the myself. I think it will be a positive thing for me now because I think it will give me confidence to write any type of essay in a way that I haven’t before.

I have told my wife and she was obviously of mixed feelings, but I think she understands where I’m coming from and she has said as long as you can reconcile it and as long as you learn from it and don’t just use it as an easy way out then she is cool with it. So I suppose that’s a good thing getting that reassurance from her.

I’m getting concerned about my lack of fitness and my weight

As I’ve just written the other day I am starting a degree course which means I’m going to be sitting down and working academically for quite long periods of time. I am usually quite an active person, I play golf and tennis and my work used to involve me walking around a lot.

But now I have to write more, especially a reflective research paper and reflective essays, I’m concerned about my weight and fitness. I’ve always been a little bit overweight and I tend to eat badly and struggle if I am not in a good place. This then spirals because the more upset I get the more I eat and it gets worse and worse and worse.

So what I’m thinking is what I am writing a lot, while I am doing all this reflective essay work, I need to keep myself physically fit. So I’m trying to go outside and walk quite a lot, I’m also thinking about jogging and I am also thinking about getting back into weights.

I haven’t really done anything like that for quite some time but I know I need to.

It’s also a pride thing I’ve always felt I looked quite fit and good, and I do not want my wife to think that I am starting to let her down by letting myself down.

So I’m definitely going to take a look at that and I have spoken to my wife about may be helping me to eat more healthily by cutting out carbs and fat a bit more with our meals, as I’m in the house more as well I’ve asked her if she can get some more healthy snack options in when she does the shopping. I could go out and buy stuff myself but she is much better at that sort of thing than me and so I tend to leave that to her.

So I’m hoping that this can be a bit of a springboard for me so that I don’t get the end of my degree course and realised what I’m a big fat idiot. That would be horrible and I don’t want to be like that, I want to make sure that I help the on the outside as well is on the inside.

A bit about my degree and my concern that I need some writing help

This is a very difficult blog post for me to write because I’m not sure I really want to even admit it to myself, let alone put it in writing, which is admitting it is the whole world, even if nobody really reads it.

The problem is that I have not really had much academic structure in my life before starting this course, so I am really not educational and when it comes to writing I’m not very good at all.

I have got to write a number of reflective essays and reflective research papers for my course and I have no idea what to do.

I have spoken to people but I’m so concerned that I will get this wrong and my first year will be dragged down by my inability to write properly and structure these things that I am going to mess things up. I might panic and then give up completely and that will be a disaster and a waste of time, effort and money.

The thing is that I have to hand in my first reflective essay in a months time and I’ve tried preparing for and I’m really struggling.

One idea I have had is to try a site like emergencyessay.com, there are lots of services like these guys out there. You submit details about what you want and the standard you want it written to and they will write a high quality persuasive essay for you.

But I’m not just cheating for the sake of it, I’m going to use it as a springboard. I’m going to learn from the structure that is given to me, and I’m going to edit it to make it more my own. So I’m hoping that I can use my cheating to learn, develop my own style and structure and then be able to do it myself very soon.

I actually feel a little better just writing this now, it’s therapeutic and it feels like I’m alleviating my guilt if only just a little bit. Obviously I don’t want to get writing help all the time, and I don’t want other people write my course essays for me all the time, that will sap my enthusiasm and my pride. But I feel that I do need to do it now.

My reasons for starting a blog

There’s no profit in blogging and it is probably seen by many people as a bit of a waste of time if you are just spilling out your thoughts, hopes, fears, everything into writing that most people will not read and anybody who does probably won’t understand, empathise with or care about.

But then I think that’s missing the point about personal blogging a lot of it is about therapy in a way. It’s about sharing things and getting them off your chest, getting out of your head and I think in a way resolving them. Anyway, that’s how I am seeing it and that’s my main reason starting this blog.

So I suppose I have to say straight away that if you are reading this, you may not find anything in this blog to help you in your life. You may not even find anything that will entertain or inform you. This is purely about me spilling out my hopes, fears, dreams and worries about things going on in my life.

I used to keep the diary when I was little and I suppose this is the same. People write diaries that nobody else is going to read, and this is I think an electronic version of that.

When I was younger I used to find that writing about things would help me to get them off my chest, and I’m hoping that that’s the same with this. Even if nobody reads it, it gives me an anonymous little outlet so that I can deal with some of the issues I face.

I’m a bit anxious generally in life and I’m worried that this degree course will ramp up the pressure on me in a way it hasn’t before and I have several things that I’m very concerned about. I will talk about my course more in detail in my next blog post I think, but suffice to say right at this moment it is causing me quite a lot of stress and I want to get it right for my own future and to help my family have a better future.